My Sweet Boy

My Sweet Boy is free of pain and disease. We let Cooper go last Wednesday after we tried everything we could, but his body was no longer responding to the treatment efforts. Cooper passed away in my arms with his loyal doctor by his side. It was peaceful yet so painful to let Cooper go. Cooper thrived with pancreatic cancer until the last few days he suffered from the harsh reality of the disease.

Cooper’s passing came too soon for me.  I never saw Cooper as an aging or sick cat until the last few days of his life. There was no way I could deny that Cooper was letting me know that it was time to let him go. As I have tried to cope with the loss, I realized that Cooper had a whole life. His life was not cut short.  No disease or ailment took Cooper away before he lived out his beautiful life. It was just a beautiful life that I never wanted to end. Cooper passed away less than one month from his 16th birthday.

The house is quiet and painfully lonely without Cooper. My husband and I deeply miss our little boy that was always by our side. Whether we were eating dinner, watching a movie, or just having a conversation, Cooper was right there with us. Cooper was not a verbal or noisy cat, but his presence was strong. Cooper did not have to make a sound but we knew he was in the room. If he did want something, he would make little grunts to get our attention. If he wanted to get into a room that was shut, he would just paw at the door with the most delicate sound. Cooper was sweetly persistent and quite the relentless kitty. I believe that quality is what also helped Cooper battle trough his ailments throughout the years.

I have so many beautiful moments with Cooper, and most were never captured through the camera lens. The picture above is one of my most recent favorite pictures of Cooper, for I was able to show you the eyes that I looked into every day and every night. He was a constant to us throughout nearly 16 years. The loss of Cooper is overwhelming and painful. But, I know eventually the beautiful memories will fill our hearts with peace and acceptance.

A few days before Cooper’s passing, Cooper was able to enjoy his favorite things. He laid in his favorite window taking in the fresh air. He chatted with the birds that stopped by the window. He even enjoyed his favorite treat, Greek yogurt! We had no thought that this would be the last time Cooper would enjoy these simple joys. I never made a bucket list for Cooper. Even though we all knew he had a terminal disease, we made every day count and made plans for the next.

I am grateful that  Cooper and I were able to share his stories with you. We made it through each and every disease or ailment that Cooper rallied through. We hoped to inspire you that there are possibilities in treatment and management of your loved one’s health, regardless of their age. Cooper is an example of beating the odds time and time again. There were some tough moments in caring for Cooper. Waiting for those phone calls that Cooper made it through the surgeries. Waiting weeks for lab results. Hoping for a good diagnosis. Dealing with a bad diagnosis. No matter what we faced, caring for Cooper and doing what was best for him was the only option. I just never wanted the day to come where the best choice for Cooper was to let him go.

I am still coming to terms with the loss of Cooper. There are so many memories that I have to hold on to Cooper. But there are so many voids that I am having to learn to live without Cooper. He was with us from the moment we woke up to the moment we laid our heads down to sleep. When I woke up in the middle if the night, Cooper was right there either awake with me or sound asleep leaning against my legs keeping me warm. We don’t see Cooper anymore when we wake up or go to sleep. He is no longer keeping me company in the middle of the night. Although Cooper is still with us in spirit, it is quite the adjustment to continue without Cooper by our side.

Cooper, I love you always. You left knowing you were loved, and the power of your love is forever with us. You did not go to the fairytale rainbow bridge with wings. You, my sweet boy, have met all of the precious ones that paved the way for you to come into our lives and become a part of our family. You are free of pain and fear and now only live with love. My life is better by loving you and you loving me. Until I see you again, I will carry your love and strength in my heart. I love you, my sweet boy!